Dear Momma

As I listen to her over the phone moaning in agony,and doing her best not to let me hear, I know that something's hurting her. My mother of 21 years sat on the other end of the phone, her body fighting infection and I fully incapable of easing her pain. It's funny that as I get older I find that I want to take care of the woman that took care of me for so long. This beautiful woman that bared me in her womb so long ago. The powerlessness of a child as he listens on the other line and waits for modern medicine to do its job, is an insufferable tragedy. Through her deep heavings and her sentence to bed rest for a month I know that she had not underwent a "mild operation." She, the woman I had seen hold steady whilst my aunt diagnosed with breast cancer made her gradual march towards Zion. She, the woman who held my cousin's head steady and kept the spoon on his tongue while he seized feverishly. Now she, the center of my Joy, needed someone to lean on. And I was separated by four interstates and 600 miles. Coming to this jarring reality that I must accept my mother's impermanence is not something that she prepared me for. And somehow I felt like a naive child for I could not come to grips with my Nurturer's mortality. Selfishly, I want her to tell me it's going to be all right and she will be fine. Yet, I know that if she is to get better it will be no doing of my own. So hear me Lord, that woman is the single most important female in my life. I love her and I ask you to make her strong through this trial. Shield her body from the attacks of the Enemy. And keep her strong through many more years of life. She needs you. I need her. Please.
-MJ