Choose Wisely

So, I just found out this Father's Day that I hate Greeting Cards. In fact, not even greeting cards, but all cards in general. The way that we have been forced every holiday to find a card that says "just the right thing." A good amount of hoaky. The small pinch of corniness. The right dash of cheer. And a little piece of you in there somewhere. And while Hallmark is probably doing their best, I think I'm giving up on them. I have decided that I am too much of an individual to keep trying to find a way for someone else's subject and verbs to agree with what my heart is feeling at the time. Granted there have been new developments as far as customization with cards that allow you to record voice messages in them, play songs, etc. But it's just not enough. I want a card that can take a picture of me and my Pops splice into a cool border or layout. Let me type my own words in. Choose a song to be played when it opens. And scan in my signature electronically. And mash it all together on glossy card stock that a main branch store near me could print and allow me to purchase. Till you can do that America's Greetings and Hallmark, Mahogany and generic brands alike I will be discriminating against you all. Oh shit, isn't 4th of July coming up? Who the hell gives cards for that? I'm just gonna sign an American Flag and give it to my dad and call it a day, because this whole picking a card thing is driving me up a wall.