Cried A Little On the Inside
Yesterday I had a bit of an existential crisis, lost on the subway in some random corner of New York City. It was all too familiar at the same time I had to tell my drunken mind to keep it together, but to no avail. Thoughts about what it would be like in South Korea when these sort of things will take place and as evidenced through my dead cell phone proved that I was truly cut off from the whole world and left to solve my own problems. I mean it was one thing to be 500 miles from my mom and dad in college. Can't call them for every little decision I made. Can't ask for advice in a tough situation. Can't cry on their shoulder when I am truly feeling lost. But these were issues that could be somewhat overcome by a well placed phone call or a short plane ride to the 757. Not anymore. In 30 days I will be moving my entire life to another continent and no amount of cell phone charging and Chinatown buses can fix that separation of worlds. I wonder how I will fare in Southeast Asia when I'm so far from friends and family. I'm excited yes. There are interesting new challenges to be had in my new country. But how many times will I simply long to talk to my Mommy. Holla at my Pop. Or bug my lil sis and they be nowhere close where I can do so. What will I do then to overcome this almost unbearable loneliness that seized the mind that had one too many Haters last night? God I hope I'm ready for this. Because I think I'm missing them already.
South Korea…
ReplyDeleteWow, I wish I could just stand in your shoes for one day, and feel every emotion that you’re going thru right now.
If I could just whisper in your ear or sit atop your shoulders, I would let you know that everything will be alright.
The opportunity to see another world is Electrifying. The challenges and life long lessons that await your arrival is Priceless!
Your parents succeeded in doing their job, by teaching you morals, strength, determination, stability and independence. So yeah, perhaps you can’t call Mommy, Pops or Lil sis at that exact moment, but, just know in your heart
THEY GOT U!
THEY GOT U SIR!!!
Their, your biggest motivators and will be awaiting your arrival back home with open arms.
So shed a tear on the inside or perhaps even on the outside for the unknown, but, not for loneliness. Were, holding you up even when perhaps we don’t seem present.
Oh, and for the record, add a Congratulator (i.e. B~wood) to the List and X out that Hater.
My pearly white Kool-Aid smile is shining so hard for you!
Awwwww. *hug* It's OKAY Malcolm! You better just get your Skype love!!! We'll always be there on the other end. Travel & see this world, for all the rest of us who will continue our endeavors here. That's all we ask. :-)
ReplyDelete