Peace Be Still

After an embarassing fight with my mother and much prayer the Lord availed me to
Psalms 46:10.

Be still, and know that I am God:
I will be exalted among the heathen,
I will be exalted in the earth.

It was amazing the things that God gives you when you think that He doesn't hear you. I realize that the comparison of myself to Jacob wrestling with the angel was a bit dramatic, but I thank each of my loved ones that gave me a Word and helped me understand that God is still God and He is Big Enough to handle my little old problems. I read Psalms and remember the wonderful rest that I have found in Him. The rather heated argument that I had with the woman whom birthed me was one I know was displaced. I have to go humble myself and apologize because I know she is merely worried about my wellbeing. Sometimes though, I think she forgets what it was like to be 21 and uncertain of your tomorrow. Crying out for help and understanding sometimes felt like shouting into a void for a purpose I just couldn't grasp. And though I am not sure what God is up to now, I know that it is something in my favor. I don't want to go to the military, but I am willing to consider it. I don't think I have it in me to go to graduate school right now, but I will admit the possibility if I continue to work hard. I don't want to move away from my family but I feel it almost necessary.It seems that is when I do the most growing, both mentally and spiritually because alot of times it's just me and God. I was talking to a few of my Aunts and Godmothers the other day and I told them about this constant fight I have with God because sometimes I try to align His Timing, with my schedule. They all laugh. And go, "Your schedule? Your schedule?" Call me crazy, but I am not the most earnest Christian sometimes, when I feel I need something from God. Especially if I'm being pressed upon by something else imminent. Mmmm. I have to keep my faith strong and my heart open to hear what the Lord has to say. ::singing:: "Hush. Hush. Somebody's calling my name." I hear you Lord. I'm all ears.