Happy Thought #1

When I was about 4 my mom taught me how to float. Scared. And in water deeper than I could stand in, she showed me how to face my fears. Anisha, a year younger than me, merely teared up at the sight of the bright blue ocean. She shrank backwards as the coolness of the water washed up between her toes. She opted to stay in the sand and build a castle. Mom, picked me up and took me to the deeper part of the Caribbean Sea. "Relax" she said calmly and let her hand slip from under me to ease me into the water. I gripped her neck tighter. Afraid of letting her go. Who knows what could happen? " It's okay baby. I'm right here." She comforted me. "Mommy won't let anything happen to you." Gradually, I eased up my tiny hands. I looked down at the clear blue water, and back up at my mom in her black bathing suit. I slid my hand from around her and felt her steady me with her hand gently pressed against my back. "Lay your head back." I struggled and jumped up, fighting the water. Gulping bits of salt water in my mouth. She quickly lifted me back to her waist. I spit up the small amounts of saline I had swallowed. "It's not gonna hurt you. I've got you. Mommy's right here." She said and I hung on to her every phrase. Looking into her eyes gave me such peace. She let me gently back down in the water, this time her hand holding my back and my stomach. My frail, little body mush have felt like soft ice cream against her wet palms. Slowly, she moved her hand up from my back and cupped my head as she lay me in the sea like Jochebed rested baby Moses in the Nile. I breathed deeply. In and out. Feeling my body lose its tension and my mothers grip hold me lightly in place. I looked into her face she appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her hand politely slid from beneath my head and I felt it catch its buoyancy on the water. Her hand on my stomach lightly caressed me as she repeated, "Relax." Finally both her hands were free of me and I lay there. Still next to her. Staring the Jamaican Sun in the eyes. It welcomed me with tranquil warmth that told me my mom was not far and that I could simply let go, of all the cares in the world. Granted, at age four I didn't have many, it still felt nice. It was like laying on a cloud and listening the rush of water up close. I felt the cascades of water splashing in and out of my ear canal and allowed them to whisper sweet dreams into my ear. I allowed the light thoughts of flying high above the sky as a bird floating across the world on warm breezes sweep me up. I felt the sleep of a thousand lifetimes wash over me and I may have only been there a few moments. The sun kissed my skin as my second mother. And I contemplated deeper on my true giver of life who had swayed me into this temporary moment of bliss. The waves of ocean wrapped around me and held me close in an endless blanket of security. I felt my body being pushed away from this place and I delighted to know that my lovely provider. My mother gave me the gift of life. And then gave me the means in this water, to find yet another amazing world. All she had to do was show me the beauty of something outside of her womb. Mother Earth then welcomed me with open arms and nestled me to her watery bosom. I know sometimes there are things that seem to trap us all in place of discomfort and unhappiness. Disappointment and sorrow. But if we look around and allow the love that our families( be they biological or otherwise) have given us to wash over us. We can be transported to another land. A sublime world unparalleled. I don't have many memories of my early youth, however this is one I truly treasure. It holds the key to an escape right in my mind. Right in the eyes of those who love me and would freely give me the world to not see me suffer. That is bliss I relish in now. That is the love that sustains me.