And I Wonder

I can't sleep. Granted it's not terribly late yet, to my sleep-deprived body it feels late and I can't pass out for reasons unknown. Probably just a lot on my mind. Thoughts about life and death. And the things that we do in between time. I guess it's facebook's fault. Looking at all these people's statuses about the tragedy of losing two classmates in the same school year. It's just amazing how fragile this whole thing is.

Two students from my alma matter, Hampton University lost their lives in the heart of their youth. And while it's not the first time I've heard about the death of someone from my school, it is the first time I've heard about two "freak accidents" in the same span of time since I graduated in May. Two young college-educated black men. Just like me. Cut down in their prime by the sometimes staggering Will of God. It kinda makes you question why. What made it their time to go on to Glory? And why am I still here? Furthermore, what am I doing worthwhile in between now and the moment of my imminent death. I mean, we're all going to go someday right? And we all have no idea when, why, or how. Yet, we continue to take each day for granted.

I don't know where I'm going with this. All I know is that God has got to know what He's doing, but sometimes I just wish He would give me a clue so that I am not groping blindly in the dark. My peers' death reminds us all how temporal this life is. How fragile it is in the palm of the Almighty's. And with the batting of an eye we can be in the next life wondering where all the time went. That's what I find myself doing. I'm not a hollow wandering the streets in search of a the next vacuum I hope can fill my more dense areas.

No, I'm simply a spirit in longing for the chance to fulfill its destiny. Whatever that might be. I know my time is limited here. All of ours are. And with people dying younger everyday we can't afford to waste our time on things not worth it. Sure wealth can pay your bills and keep creditors from breathing down your throat, but money is not the only thing needed to sustain a marriage. Sure a big house can provide you with a symbol of status, but only warmth from the soul can make it a home.

Certainly, a Rolls Royce or a Bentley can tell people, "hey I've got it going on." But only real love in your heart will make you glow with a pride the world could never understand. I mean it's quite possible I'm just rambling. And this is flying over my own head even as I type it, but if it isn't then we have to all give a crazy man more credit for his contemplation. "You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams? You ever what it all really means?" Search yourself America. What are you doing to make your life and maybe even the life of someone else's enriched? Make the most of it. There's a no-return policy on this gift of life.