Terror in the Night

My aunt had a night terror that probably scared me more than it did her. She was moaning and slightly yelling in a state that my voice seemed not to reach her. Her cries had woke me from my own sleep and were shaking her body and hindering her from sleeping well or waking very easily. Panicked, I ran around the house searching for a number that I could call in this scenario. I'm not certified for anything like this. In CPR/AED training there was nothing in our manual about this sort of thing.

And suddenly I realized why my aunt wanted someone to stay with her all this time. Rent-free. She didn't like to be alone. She probably combats her own loneliness and the sounds of old age as the two sneak up on you. Her placating that feeling means moving in a disadvantaged you , i.e. moi, and give them a chance to reshape their lives while keeping her company in the mean time. Hm. Not a bad deal I suppose. And here I was thinking that her incessant barrage of complaints and orders were coming from a place of bitterness. No. That changes everything.

I know what it's like to be a prisoner to a situation, in a sense. And I believe that fear arrests my aunt sometimes because in these the last years of her life, there aren't many people she has come to count on. I feel slightly selfish for being anxsty at times. It's partly my A.D.D.'s fault, since it hates for people to interrupt me when I'm finally focusing. But other than that, I really should have no complaints about being here. While I'm spending my time upset about living in a sense of suspended reality, a la Recesión. Aunt Dot is dealing with her own mortality and how to cope with a body that no longer has the energy to go as far as it used to and a spirit that just isn't ready to give up yet. That night terror scared the hell out of both of us. ::sighs:: Is there anything else I can get you Auntie? Okay. Good night. Love you.