Dear Professor

One year into this whole adulthood thing and things seem to be shaping up. I'm not exactly where I'd like to be but I'm a little bit closer than last year. I have some of that sense of independence I thought I'd lost. I have much of the sense of passion I thought died in the Sea that washed it over me in the first place. I found something in myself that I didn't know existed and I'm using it everyday to order my steps and guide me through the uncertainty. But I think about you often. Whenever I read an interesting article about education. You cross my mind whenever I do a lesson plan and since I'm teaching now it's sort of cool to indulge in the idea of you once a week. I'm going to graduate school. Did I tell you? I'm trying to get into a good one because now I think I'm more grounded and prepared to spread my wings in a rigorous curriculum. Maybe I wasn't ready last year. Maybe that's what the proverbs were for. Maybe that's what so many of us that were in your class or in your office always longing for. That extended guidebook on how to survive all of this. And the truth is, there is no book. There is no shelter. There is no escape. There is only tomorrow. There's no unrestricted burden. But there's no limit to the places we can go. There's no right or wrong way to move but there is always the need to constantly continue moving forward. And while I know I'm not perfect right now, I recognize that if I'm always striving towards the next level then I'm making progress. It's a tough pill to swallow. And it's not really one anyone could ever teach me in a classroom or in person. It's something that I have absorbed from experience. From meeting some friends, losing some friends, and finding that some friendships endure through it all.I learned from having one average paying job and getting fired and then having to work twice as hard to save enough to make my own way. Learning to find funding for things and not really being sure where the money was going to come from but trusting God to find that He does provide for His Children. I've been through so much in the span of a year. And immediately following graduation I would have given almost anything to give up and restart everything, but the more I longed for those days, the more time I wasted. I had to go through that. Lest I be just another aimless twenty-two year old who did everything his parents told them. At this point, the most I can say for myself is that I'm living my life. And it is in great measure based on what you taught me. Not about how to form a good thesis for an essay or a construct a plausible comparative analysis. Not from what I learned about some famous author or some complex metaphyscial critical framework. I learned it from those times in your office where I sat in your office and cursed me out only to pray with me afterwards. I learned it from the phone conversations where I told you very simply, "I'm scared." I learned it from the times that you were just living your life and telling me about how no path is straight and narrow so we can't be afraid when something tremendous, good or bad, widens the scope of what all can happen in my life. Everything is everything. And everything happens. And with reason, everything happens for a reason. I spent so long trying to get over certain situations because I believed I could think my way through and control every situation. And now I have to teach myself. I have to learn that each day is a new lesson. And there is something to be absorbed at each stage of it. And no I cannot control every situation, but I can determine how I respond to matters out of my control. Every day is another opportunity to reinvigorate myself about what is special to me. I hope I can make you proud. And I hope I can make myself proud. I'll work hard for everything and remember that I can touch lives because you, you, and especially you touched me. I'm one of the starfish that got tossed back into the water and I'm just thankful that you keep walking up that beach for all those like me.