20-Something

Sometimes I’m afraid of the future. The whole idea of what my Life might have in store for me leaves me with so many questions and so much anxiety. Is this career what I really want to be doing? Will I make enough money? Will this be what I do until I retire? Will my student loans get paid off? Will I buy a house? Should I have a family by now? Will I fulfill my potential? Is this going to make me happy in the end?

As a 20-something year old black independent young adult I often feel plagued by that burden of finding the intersection between making my parents proud, making myself happy, expressing myself, and finding a way to sell one of my skills or talents as a sustainable means of income. The pressure to be great is frequently insurmountable and I contemplate hypothetical life paths while staring at the current track I’m on. My “need to succeed” is intensified when colleagues, advisors, and mentors alike say things like “You’re still so young” or “You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.” But what will that Life be?

I was talking to a good friend of mine, Captain America, and found out I wasn’t the only one in my age bracket who feels a bit…..unsure of what’s next for them. Seems like our 20s will be defined by a series of “guess-and-check” operations. Some of our peers have done well for themselves and enjoy careers with advancement opportunities and 401Ks with a nice payout. In this shaky economy they’ve already solidified their tickets into Middle America. However, the rest of us are still blindly groping our way through the darkness of “youth” and “independence,” “self-sufficiency” and “being grown.” Catch phrases that never tell the whole truth: some of us are scared shitless.

Are we playing it too safe? I’m not sure, but today I’ve decided I’m not going to live my life in fear of tomorrow. True, the path is dark as night. Nevertheless, I must press on. Maybe that’s what my elders’ advice translates to, “don’t be afraid.” At the end of the day everyone has to go through this period. It’s hard since I know I could take multiple career paths, but I’ve got to actively work towards ALL of them and hope for the best. Take little steps each day towards positioning myself for a future I’d actually like for myself. For some folks it’s been easy, but I suppose my path will be to learn things the hard way. I have to make plans of action for each level and motivate myself with personal check-ins that say “I’m not at my goal yet, but look how far I’ve come.” Keep pushing 20-Somethings. There’s a light just over the horizon and it’s rising in our direction more and more each day. Fire it up. Ready to go.